We truly create our own realities. We have the ability to change things. Make our lives better. We CHOOSE it. This is something I didn’t really believe for a long time. I thought that things were happening TO me, and that I had no control over my happiness. Little did I know I could make my life anything I wanted it to be. We can’t change people unfortunately :), but we can choose not to allow them to steal our joy.
As many of you may know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I grew up in the church but of course there always comes a time when you have to ask yourself, Do I really believe what I’ve been taught? I think deep down I always believed, but I turned away from it for a few years. Probably because I felt guilty about the choices I was making. The further I was from the church the less guilty I felt. But also the more unhappy I became. My life wasn’t turning out the way I had always hoped it would.
I had dreams of marrying a trustworthy guy. Someone who loved and served God. I envisioned raising a family and teaching them good values. I wanted SUCCESS. Financial success. Success in marriage, in child rearing, in becoming who I was destined to be. I didn’t want to settle for mediocrity. I remember feeling like all was lost and that my life was just going to continue down this road and my dreams would never become a reality. After many years of not speaking to God I decided to simply ask him to help me. I was afraid to ask him for anything because I didn’t feel worthy. When I finally began praying to him again I felt his love and forgiveness. He made me realize the most amazing thing… I had the CHOICE! I could choose any kind of life I wanted.
As soon as I believed this, I knew that I needed to make some changes, starting with the relationship I was in. I knew it wasn’t right for me so I ended it. Then took the long hard road to a better life. Because even though we have the choice, it’s not always easy. Anything of value comes with a price. I knew that I needed to BECOME the kind of person I wanted to marry. So I spent a few years working on being that person. I always wanted to marry a returned missionary, so what did I do? I became a returned missionary :).
Serving my mission in Germany was probably the best choice I ever made, besides choosing to marry my husband of course. So what I’m trying to say here is, I learned that my choices were what created my life now. I don’t believe in luck. I believe that making good choices, allows Gods hand into our lives. He allows us to learn from the choices we make, but promises happiness from making GOOD ones.