Doll stroller from Triokid.com and backpack from Jujube.com
Sometimes I can be an “all or nothing” kind of girl and motherhood has been a really tough thing for me to balance in that sense. This is why when I started my blog, the name WANNABE Balanced was what resonated with me. I knew that motherhood was a sacred calling and that I should devote all my time to being the best mother I could be. What I didn’t realize is that there still needs to be a balance between being a mother, and pursuing the things that interest and excite me.
“Find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children.”
~Elder M. Russell Ballard
After a few years of motherhood and trying desperately to bury any other passions I had, because I thought it was selfish if I acted on anything that didn’t particularly have to do with playing and teaching my kids. I found myself feeling lost, numb, and somewhat bored with life. Which is really sad for me to admit. I would day dream about having time to myself again, about when all my kids would be in school, and I only had one child at the time. I was anxious to get all my babies here and move forward as fast as possible so that I could “start” my life.
After trying to suppress my interests for a few years I got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I HAD to do something. So I started actively working our Isagenix business with Sean. I got babysitters so I could work and it felt amazing… for a while. Then the guilt set in and I felt awful about the time I was spending away from my kids (2 of them at the time). So I quit doing that and started homeschooling. It was so fulfilling to be giving ALL my time to my kids… for a while. Then that wore off and I started feeling overwhelmed and empty inside, so I quit homeschooling and started pursuing my passions again.
You see the pattern here? I struggle with finding balance, that’s the problem. It all comes down to balance. I’ve realized that I CAN do both, it’s just a matter of maintaining focus on what’s most important in the moment and not getting too consumed with one or the other.
I’ve learned that the best gift you can give your children, is a happy mother. It’s important to continue learning, growing spiritually, developing our talents, and pushing ourselves beyond our capacity. We just have to remember to take it slow and steady. There is no race in what you’re pursuing. You don’t need to do it FAST, you just need to do it consistently. So I’ve learned to hire out the things that don’t particularly help me grow as a person, things like doing laundry and cleaning toilets. That frees up time to do the things I LOVE. I feel completely satisfied and fulfilled when I’m doing both in a balanced manner. Don’t get me wrong. I still have the tendency to go overboard with the things I’m pursuing, but I’ve learned to catch myself and know that just because I’m spending too much time on these pursuits, doesn’t mean I should quit all together. It just means I need to tone it down and focus on being a proactive mother.
Time is passing so quickly and I don’t want to have any regrets in motherhood and in my personal life.
Being a good mother is about spending quality time with your kids, teaching them important life skills by working by their side, and setting an example. Reading and developing my mind, and writing what I’m learning is so exciting for me. I shouldn’t feel guilty about spending time doing this. Especially because these things I’m doing can serve others by putting it out there in blogs and hopefully in a book one day. One thing I’m trying to do more of is read by their side and talk to them about what I’m doing on my computer. The other day my son came in my office while I was on my computer. Instead of staying focused on my computer screen I told him that I was writing an outline for my book I want to write. He was so intrigued that he went and got his computer and said he wanted to write a book too. So it’s these moments that help me feel justified that what I’m pursuing is a good thing all around, even if it means I’m doing it for myself in a way. Sometimes I think that if I love doing it then it’s selfish, haha.
Like Joey say’s in the show “Friends”, “There is no such thing is a selfless act of kindness”. Isn’t it true, we serve others because it makes us feel good, which could be considered selfish since it benefits us emotionally. Funny way of looking at it right?
I just wanna be a peacefully, productive, playful and present mom. Constantly trying to find the perfect balance between being a fun mom that’s always present, but at the same time getting things done and tending to my own personal and spiritual growth. What I’ve learned is that as a mom we are always dealing with these inner conflicts. We crave productivity, and we are constantly feeling guilty for it. Feeling like we should be playing with our kids all day, but when we do, all we can think about is how much we need and even WANT to get done.
Please tell me, what are some of your tips to finding balance between motherhood and pursing your interests?