I NEVER thought I’d be saying this, but I soooo regret getting my tubes tied. I got the Tubal Ligation surgery about 2 years ago when my 4th baby, Owen, was 2 years old. At that point I was totally spent. Life was crazy and completely overwhelming, mostly because my little Owen liked to wake up every hour at night to nurse. I tried EVERYTHING to get him sleeping through the night, but his strong willed personality proved to overpower this sleep deprived mama. It didn’t help that Owen also had a couple health challenges starting out. On YouTube I shared the story of how we found out about his birth defects and what that was like for us.
Over the past couple of months I’ve been feeling really sad about the fact that I got my tubes tied. I hated that the choice to have a baby was no longer on the table. It’s not like in the past when we could just start trying to get pregnant . I began looking into the reversal surgery and found that it’s pretty expensive, and not always effective. So that was a bit discouraging. I would jokingly mention it to Sean here and there but we would just kind of laugh it off. Sean would even remind me WHY I chose to get my tubes tied. I swore I would never get pregnant again because it was just too hard. And after going through 2 years of little sleep, I thought there was no way I could ever do that again.
I love being a mom of 4. In the beginning of my motherhood journey I never thought I’d be wishing for it to slow down. I dreamt of the days my kids would grow up and I would finally have time to myself again.
Now that my kids ARE growing up I’m finding myself deeply saddened over it. I thought I would be feeling as though my LIFE was about to begin. Instead I’m feeling like my life is ending. My kids ARE my life. Being a mom is what gives me purpose and inspires me to be better, to reach my full potential, to teach what I know, and to record my life (hence my blog and YouTube) in hopes it will be a strength to them and my posterity. .
Last week I put out a video series on YouTube about how we came to the conclusion to go ahead with the Tubal Reversal Surgery. Start with video one to understand the full story.