Fear of losing someone you love

LIFE…

Sometimes it’s hard to understand WHY some things happen. We all know that we can’t have the good without the bad, but why does it seem sometimes the bad is much too much to bare.

Recently we were given some pretty heart wrenching news. Our dear friend Garrett Slack passed away from complications of Pneumonia. He was Sean’s very best friend since the 4th grade. He was much too young to go. Happily married with 3 small children and one on the way.  Just can’t seem to wrap my head around this.

Last night I was reading through the last text messages Sean received from Garrett. They were planning to go to lunch this week. I laughed with tears in my eyes as I read their humorous communication. They had so much fun together.

Death has never really seemed REAL until now. I’ve never lost anyone that close to me before and although he was Sean’s best friend, I still miss him FOR Sean. Crazy how that happens in a marriage. You really do become ONE. When Sean’s hurting, I’m hurting. I can’t stand the thought of him being without this guy. I knew how great of friends they were, heard all their childhood stories and inside jokes. A friendship like that just cannot be replaced. He was even there the day Sean and I met and Sean’s best man at our wedding.

My heart aches for his wife and kids. My heart aches for Sean, not getting to enjoy more time with his best friend here on this earth. I’m so deeply saddened and even fear stricken.

I think as we get older and begin our families, our fear increases. Probably for the simple fact that we now have more to lose.

The more children I have the more my fears grow. I developed a fear of flying, of fear of motorcycles, fear of heights, fear of germs, fear of ghosts, fear of the dark, and most of all fear of losing a loved one.

We can’t always control what will happen in our lives and we pray to God that nothing bad will happen. Thats where faith comes in. Something I’ve been struggling with lately. Not faith that he exists, but faith that he has a plan for me and no matter what the plan is, it will never be more than I can handle. That’s a promise he’s made to us, but I have a hard time believing it.

We all know that our lives here on earth is a time to test our faith.

Every time things in life seem to be calm and going well, something always happens. Something that brings about stress. And we hate it don’t we? Change for the most part is not fun. We’d like for things to stay the same and just be perfect all the time.

There is a season and a reason for everything in life.

I’m reading this book called Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear by Max Lucado.

He mentions the summary of Solomon (Ecc. 3:1-8)

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

Now it’s up to us to understand God’s plan for us. Trust in it. We can’t have the good without the bad.

 I found this picture posted on Garrett’s facebook wall just a few weeks ago with his comment below.

“So grateful for my amazing family…and our little boy on the way :)”

-Garrett Slack

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Comments

  1. Jenn robertsNo Gravatar says:

    Prayers of strength and courage to the Slack Family, and your own Crystal :(

  2. TristaNo Gravatar says:

    I have those same feelings–I totally wanted to go skydiving until I had Sabrina. Now? Not so much! I am sorry for Sean; that is a terribly sad thing to happen. Prayers for your family and Garrett’s.

  3. CorinneNo Gravatar says:

    I’m so sorry Crystal for your loss. A great scripture to lean on…it’s so important to trust the Lord even when we don’t seem to understand. Blessings.

  4. Pamela TaylorNo Gravatar says:

    I am so sad after reading that!

    The pain of losing someone close to you takes a long time to ease. I lost my oldest brother two years ago and he was only 57. I still cry a lot from missing him and after reading this it makes me miss him more if that’s possible.

    Praying that God will lessen the pain for all of you during this time. My prayers are with his family, you and Sean.

  5. Kristina P.No Gravatar says:

    What a sad, sad story. My heart aches for them.

    I have a serious phobia about losing my husband. I’ve been to therapy several times for it, and have been on medication. It scares me so badly. Because I know it can happen at anytime, to anyone.

  6. ErinNo Gravatar says:

    Crystal, I am so sorry for Sean and your loss. I went thru something similar close to one year ago. My thoughts and prayers to Sean and you, and to your friends young family.
    Thank you for your post, and all the best to you guys.

  7. JamieNo Gravatar says:

    I’m so very sorry for you loss Crystal. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Kimberly PorterNo Gravatar says:

    Crystal, I’ve recently found your website and I absolutely love it and look up to you. You’re kind of my unmet hero. Anyway, I am so sorry for yours and your husband’s loss. I agree that it’s hard to know the Lord’s plan in life and to trust that it’s his way when things don’t make sense like leaving a young wife and family behind. I wish I had an answer for you. All I know is that time, prayer, and faith heal all wounds. My heart goes out to Garrett’s family. Oh! and a little boy on his way. Bless her. If you hear of any type of fundraiser for her family, please let us know so we can help.

  9. SassyModernMomNo Gravatar says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers for all of you…

  10. CandaceNo Gravatar says:

    So sorry to hear about the loss of a great friend and so sad for his family. that is a fear I have when my husband has to travel for work, him getting in a car accident or something horrible….I know what you mean about experiencing more fears as we get older and our families grow…trusting in the lord with all my heart, in all things…trusting in his plan and remembering Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you not to harm you…” I cling to that verse when I feel fear coming on

  11. MeganNo Gravatar says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. That is so sad and terrible. :( Your family, as well as Garrett’s family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

  12. Jeff BorisNo Gravatar says:

    My condolences for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Reading this I couldn’t help but burst into tears. I lost my brother just 15 months ago. Very suddenly and unexpectedly. I can relate to everything you shared about that increasing fear. Having lost my brother and having two young children I’ve become “sensitized” to hearing about the loss of others. A day never goes by that I don’t experience some sense of fear of the possibility of something happening to my children or someone close to me. The positive side however is that it has made me live more in the moment, appreciate everything and everyone more, and brought me closer to my family and friends. It’s unfortunate that my brother had to give up his life so I could live mine more fully.

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