“None of us will be on earth very long. We have a number of precious years which, in the eternal perspective, barely amount to the blink of an eye..” —Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency
One of my very favorite speakers in the LDS church is President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. All of his talks are so inspiring and relatable for me. In our last General Conference he gave the most amazing talk called Regrets and Resolutions, which I feel is the perfect topic to discuss with the New Year here.
How can we live our lives void of future regrets?
Truth is, it’s impossible. We are human and we WILL make mistakes. We all have regrets. Regrets that we didn’t do enough, love enough, dream enough, and as President Uchtdorf stated, “The most universal regret dying patients express is that they wished they had spent more time with the people they love.”After studying up on this topic I feel compelled to share what I’ve learned. My goal is to make this year a more meaningful one full of memories that will last a life time. I’ve come up with a list of things that we can do to help make that possible. Since each one requires a more in depth approach I decided that I will be sharing ONE at a time.
“When we are young, it seems that we will live forever. We think there is a limitless supply of sunrises waiting just beyond the horizon, and the future looks to us like an unbroken road stretching endlessly before us.
However, the older we get, the more we tend to look back and marvel at how short that road really is. We wonder how the years could have passed so quickly. And we begin to think about the choices we made and the things we have done. In the process, we remember many sweet moments that give warmth to our souls and joy to our hearts. But we also remember the regrets—the things we wish we could go back and change.” -Uchtodorf
As mothers we feel the constant pull of every which way. We desire so badly to do everything right. We hope that we are providing the love and teachings our children need to face the many challenges of the “real” world. I’m now 7 years into motherhood and already have regrets. Wish I never gave Lily bottles at night because it rotted her teeth. Wish I was more patient with them. Wish I had spent more time teaching them. Wish I would have enjoyed nursing more and the baby stages of my first two. I’m on my third child now and realized I’m just NOW getting it. I LOVE nursing and see the baby stage slipping away all too quickly. I’ve got time though, I can turn things around. My kids are still young and I can work even harder to make lasting memories and to enjoy every moment I have with them.
“Why, then, do we devote so much of our time and energy to things that are so fleeting, so inconsequential, and so superficial? Do we refuse to see the folly in the pursuit of the trivial and transient?” -Uchtdorf
We have a brand new year ahead of us and it’s time to reevaluate once again. How can we make every day count? Time is always the issue right? We feel there is never enough time in the day to do all the things we need to do as mothers. So without getting too overwhelmed lets take it one step at a time. First we must let go of the “time wasters”. Too much TV, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, ect. Our modern day technology is awesome, but it can also be a detriment. I know I’ve been guilty of spending too much time online. I recently started using a timer for myself to help keep me on task.
So with time management aside, the first thing on my list for my 2013 Resolutions is to TEACH more.
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO WORK
I know our responsibilities as mothers are pretty extreme. With the piles of laundry, constant picking up, dishes, meals, homework, diapers, ect. It seems there is little time to stop and smell the roses. I used to think that in order to spend quality time with my kids that meant that I had to let everything else go. When I tried to let my household responsibilities go in exchange for more time with the kids, I became stressed and anxious. I can’t stand living in a mess. I thought it was just something I needed to work on. Then I remembered the scripture that God wants us to have a “house of order“. We are taught that cleanliness and order is a good thing.
So how on earth do we have a clean house AND spend that special time with the kids. Is it possible to have both? There just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day, right?
The solution is INVOLVING your children in the house work. Not only will you be spending quality time with them, but you are teaching them the value of meaningful work. This can be a very precious time. Only if you make it fun and not dreadful that is. There should be no demanding, yelling, or critisizing. I need to work on this a little myself. Focus more on the quality of time you are spending with your children rather than the job being done just right. I’ve recently started involving my kids in the laundry and found that it can actually be a lot of fun. We gather the piles of clean clothes. Each child sorts through to find their own clothes while we at the same time talk about things. I try to use this time to teach them something new. Maybe school related, scripture, values, or any other life skills. Try to do a lot of encouraging. Folding laundry for youngsters can be a little tricky. Show them how to do it, then let them try. If they don’t do it right it doesn’t matter. Tell them they did a good job and resist the urge to go back later and fix it.
Another perk to involving your kids in the house work is that they are busy being productive instead of playing ipad games, watching tv, or even making messes somewhere else in the house. Usually I’d find something to keep them busy while I cleaned. Not anymore. I’ve learned there are better ways, more productive and meaningful ways they can spend their time.