I made a mistake and here’s what I learned.
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Ep #18: How I Endured A Panic Attack
Just recently I experienced the most intense fear and it lasted for 3 days. I know that doesn’t seem like a long time when you compare it to someone who has been battling depression their whole life. But when you’re experiencing such intense emotion, and it stays for days, you begin to wonder if it will ever go away. Your fear of the fear intensifies because it’s hard to take control of your mind at that point. We all know that we create our own realities and what we think and believe is truly the baseline of our reality. So even through I knew this, it was hard to find thoughts that I could believe. Saying what you want to think in order to feel better, doesn’t necessarily work unless you can believe it. And believing is the hard part. Believing requires faith and faith is hard to obtain when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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4 Self-Care Tips for New Mothers
I once heard a friend describe the first month of new motherhood as much like being at the bottom of a deep well. Of course, this phase of life is amazing. You’re adapting to a completely new role, and your child is adapting to a whole new world! But it can also be scary, exhausting, and astoundingly isolating.
During this time, every minute is consumed with caring for your child. For the first time, you’ll experience what it means for someone else to literally depend on you for their survival from one moment to the next. But it’s important during this time to also take time out to care for yourself.
Listen to my Podcast Episode on Balancing Life As A Mom
Go Easy On Yourself
This is the first and most important thing that I wish I could share with more new mothers. If you thought, before you had your child, that people had a lot of opinions about what you should and should not do with your life, it’s nothing to what you get after you have a child. It seems that there are a million things that you could do wrong, somehow managing to completely ruin your child’s whole future! You’ll find people (who really have no say in the matter) telling you that bottle-feeding instead of breast-feeding will give your child lifelong psychological issues. Some will tell you that you need to pick up your child every time he or she whimpers, and others will say that your child needs to learn to self-soothe sooner rather than later.
Guess what: if you’re managing to keep your child alive and your sanity intact, you’re doing great! Sometimes, that’s enough. When you’re able to actually take a breath, then you can start thinking about getting the house clean, or making yourself healthy homemade meals.
This post has some great words of comfort about what’s expected of you these first moments.
Talk to Friends
Remember that visual of being at the bottom of a well? Part of that effect happens because you’re so consumed in your new role, that you neglect other aspects of your life and yourself that used to be important. It’s true that there are other things on your mind and in your heart right now, and if that means doing less things with your friends, then that’s okay. But all the same, remember that soon you’ll crave some adult, intelligent conversation. Feeling connected with friends, family, and loved ones outside of the intense, insular bond of mother and child will actually help you to keep your mood and energy up. Spend time talking things out with your partner, or just phone a friend in one of those 5-minute pockets that you can snatch for yourself. Feel free to unload your feelings, but keep yourself open to listening to others too. Remembering that there’s a world beyond the nursery can be amazingly refreshing.
Ask for Help
The isolation, and the burden of expectations to be a certain kind of mother, can lead us to keep certain concerns to ourselves. It’s important to remember that as much as it feels like it, you are not alone! Whether you’re stressed that your child is having health complications, or you’re experiencing postpartum depression, or that you’re just so tired that you want to tear out your hair… there’s help out there! Join a helpful mother’s forum online. Utilize a nurse’s health line to ask medical questions (most insurance services have this available.) And if you’re lucky enough to have friends, family, and a partner to help you out with this colossal task, ask them to help! It takes a village to raise a child, right?
Here’s some real talk from some of the funniest moms out there:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5TbKOTZcWY
Do Something for You
Now that your life is consumed with taking care of another, it can make you feel suddenly guilty just taking a few hours for yourself. Well stop! Stop those feelings of guilt. True self-care is also about being empowered to better serve others. Taking out some time to care for your health (snatching some more hours of sleep, or maybe getting a massage) is important. You’re a better mother when you’re able to do what you must to take care of your mental, spiritual, and physical wellbeing.
During these early days of parenthood, it might be wise to take some time to determine what coping techniques will help you deal with the stresses of this role. Set some habits of self-care like these ones. Determine those things that make you feel happy, and restored. It might feel scary to allow someone else to take care of your child for a few hours, but you’ll have to get used to it at some point, and for your own health, you might need to do so sooner rather than later.
Ep #17: It’s Not All About YOU
You probably think this episode is about you, don’t you don’t you don’t you?
In this “selfie” society, and somewhat narcissistic generation on the rise, we are seeing more and more anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression are triggered by all consuming thoughts about ourselves. When we think the world revolves around us.
One thing I’m really trying to get through my head is that everything is not about ME! As spiritual beings having a human experience we are constantly fighting against the tendencies of the natural man. In our efforts to discover ourselves by studying personal development and taking time for self care, we can create an accidental self absorbed reality.
It’s especially true as we go through our adolescent years. Our minds our consumed with, how do I look, what should I wear, I wonder what they think of me, am I popular, am I pretty, fun, smart, awesome? Everything people do and say becomes all about us.
I was just listening to Jody Moore’s Podcast, Better Than Happy and she did an episode about Mother’s Day, helping us all understand that although you are a mother, mother’s day is not about you. It’s about focusing on all the mothers in your own life, not waiting and hoping with high expectations that our spouse or kids will treat us extra special. We envision exactly what we want from them, and each year we are left feel ing a little disappointed, well at least that’s been the case for me. We want flowers, gifts, breakfast in bed, and basically a day off from motherhood duties. Most the time I do get treated pretty awesome, but I realized I’ve set the bar pretty dang high.
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Dog Party w/ Milk Bone Birthday Party Treats
Our sweet little cat Zuri had her kittens 6 weeks ago and we thought it would be a fun idea to have our dogs celebrate the birthday of Zuri’s 4 babies by having a dog PAWty. Or in other words, baby kitten shower.
My kids were all on board with this idea of course, so we set the idea in motion. We gathered up the party supplies, searched Pinterest for inspiration and this is what we came up with. Posters, face painting, balloons, treats, and some good ol’fashion dancing. Check out our YouTube video HERE.
A big thank you to Milk Bone Birthday Party treats from Target for sponsoring this party. We got the limited time Happy Birthday tin full of an assortment of 5 delicious doggy treat flavors: bacon flavor, beef flavor, chicken flavor, sausage flavor, and turkey flavor. Right now you can save some bucks with these awesome cartwheel offers starting May 19th and going until June 2nd.
- Milk-bone: 10% off any Milk-Bone dog treats
- Pup-Perori: 15% off any Pup-Peroni dog treats
- Milo’s Kitchen: 15% off any Milo’s Kitchen dog treats
- Canine Carry Outs: 15% off any Canine Carry outs dog treats
First we stopped over to Target to grab the yummy birthday party dog treats. Then we made simple signs with poster board. “Welcome Pawty Animals” and “Pawty Like a DogStart”. Check out the video we made of this awesome celebration, plus some clips from the actaul birth of Zuri’s kittens.
We made dog paw cupcakes using oreo cookies and milk duds.
Then we made cute little dog ears by simply cutting out dog ear shapes in some felt fabric and hot glueing them to some headbands. And off course no party is complete without party favors. So that’s whaty the “Doggy Bags” are.
Then of course I had to get the face paint because my kids absolutely love getting their faces painted.
P.S. Anyone wanting to adopt an adorable little kitty?
Ep #16: I’m Freaking Jealous
I think jealousy and resentment go hand in hand because first we experience jealousy, and usually it’s followed by a bit of resentment toward the person we are jealous of. Or resentment towards the life we’ve been dealt. Sometimes we want to blame others or blame our circumstances for not having everything we desire to have.
Junior high and high school is when I can remember experiencing the most jealousy.
Over the years I’ve learned how to manage my thoughts enough to work my way out of the emotion when ever it comes up. And believe me, it still comes up.
There was a time when I even had to limit the time I spent on social media because I noticed that I was always left with feelings of jealousy. Seeing pictures of other people attending an awesome party that I wasn’t invited to or noticing how influential another blogger is and wondering why I’m not gaining the same amount of traction.
Social media is a blessing and a curse. The answer is not to abandon social media all together, maybe it’s necessary for a time, but ultimately I think the answer is to learn the lesson. How can we overcome our envious nature? How can we stay in a place of peace and love for everyone? That is the big question. I’ve found plenty of tips and advice on the matter but I tell yah, it’s no easy task.
It’s human nature to want what others have. We recognize it in our own children as early as age two. They are happily playing with a particular toy until brother walks in with a different toy. Suddenly they must have THAT toy!!! The one they have just doesn’t seem as cool anymore. The psychology around it is that when someone else has something, it only SEEMS to be better than what we have because we don’t have it. The grass always seems greener until we get there and we realize it’s really not greener, just LOOKS greener from a distance.
I feel this happens to me a lot in business and blogging. I have big goals and constantly striving to reach new heights. But there is always someone that has achieved more, or seems to be doing it better than me.
“In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.”
~Albert Schweitzer
In this episode I mention a YouTube video I made sharing my story, geared towards teenage girls. Check it out HERE.
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